


Once in a Blue Moon

by sereneasthesea



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Halloween, Jongin Needs a Hug, Kyungsoo Needs a Hug, Love Confessions, M/M, Soft Jongin, i'm soft for them too, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27621011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sereneasthesea/pseuds/sereneasthesea
Summary: Kyungsoo had an epiphany, or he just had a realisation of his feelings for Jongin.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	Once in a Blue Moon

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't proofread this one, apologise for the mistakes you'd probably find in here. Plus, this was supposed to be a sodding drabble, 1k words max, but well, I did it again.

The very first time Jongin kissed Kyungsoo, it felt weird. And rushed, and unnatural. It felt… wrong. It was not like Kyungsoo had something for Jongin, it was not like he offered. He wasn’t sure what Jongin was aiming—but he went along, anyway. To defend himself, it was quite nice to have someone listening to your futile rants, how you awfully distasted the world. Kyungsoo too, as it turned out, was very, _very_ fond of hugging. Jongin was very fond of being hugged, so it worked for them.

Perhaps, Kyungsoo felt lonely. It made sense, right, because he didn’t really have the privilege to explore the whole mess of something called relationship before—Jongin gave him just that. Jongin gave him the butterflies too, sometimes, because he just knew exactly where to touch and what to say. Jongin offered him something to hold on to, and—as much as he loathed admitting this—he felt loved, by Kim Jongin.

It was rather pleasing.

Kyungsoo felt as if he was pulled out of a deep ocean and finally seeing the light for the first time in a thousand years.

“Do you think the moon is lonely?” Jongin asked, obviously being the dork he was, as he got up from Kyungsoo’s lap and stared outside intently.

Kyungsoo squinted his eyes. “I thought you asked me to read,” he said, closing the book and stared at the moon as well. It was a full moon, and it appeared rather blueish.

“Because you looked bored. And I want to hear you being all serious,” Jongin snickered. “Answer me,” he then stared at Kyungsoo with his bright eyes, not even knowing how it affected the insides of a Do Kyungsoo. Irresponsible bastard.

“If you haven’t known yet, moon is an inanimate object that can’t, and won’t, feel emotions.” Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows sardonically. Sometimes he felt like he was raising a ten years old child, except that it was creepy and major red flag because a child couldn’t—wasn’t supposed to—make him feel good in bed.

What a horrifying thought; Kyungsoo shook his head, trying his best to throw away the unwanted images inside his mind.

“You’re spoiling the mood with your realistic insights, you know that.” Jongin drew himself closer, and kissed Kyungsoo in the mouth. A rather short one, Kyungsoo found himself thinking. It was appalling, if he was being completely honest, because he never thought he would be obsessed over someone. Especially not Jongin, the guy who cried watching romantic comedies.

Jongin smirked, that beautiful lopsided smile of him; because Kyungsoo was leaning forward. Kyungsoo had no idea how to control his body at this point, and he was embarrassed that he could shoot himself in the head.

“Piss off,” Kyungsoo said, which he didn’t mean at all.

Jongin laughed at that, and sat back at his side of the sofa.

Kyungsoo often wondered what made Jongin stay, what part of him he found… _endearing_. He had asked, once, but Jongin had answered that he liked _every part of him_ , apparently, and Kyungsoo didn’t believe him still. Jongin was such a flirt, that was why.

“I read that today’s moon is a blue moon,” Jongin mentioned beside him. “Did you know?”

“I’ve no idea.”

“It’s supposed to appear once each year, but we didn’t have that last year.” Jongin smiled victoriously, his eyes a shade smaller, something he seldom showed because Kyungsoo usually knew everything. Kyungsoo didn’t know this one, or perhaps he knew but he didn’t really recall—but mostly, he just wanted to see that smile.

“Why?” Kyungsoo questioned. He knew what was going to happen, he couldn’t stop himself anyway.

“If you want to know,” Jongin drawled, absorbing Kyungsoo’s attention. Kyungsoo shifted in his seat, suddenly the sofa was too uncomfortable. He pursed his lips as he stared at Jongin.

Jongin was closing his eyes, his hands resting at the nape of his neck. The pale light from outside made him slightly glowing, Kyungsoo didn’t like the persistent butterflies inside his body. “You have to kiss me first.” He said, as if kissing him was the easiest thing in the world and that it was something Kyungsoo was made for.

“Whatever,” Kyungsoo sighed, and got up, intending to return The Little Prince to his bookshelf.

“Oh, come on!” Jongin held Kyungsoo’s free hand, because the giant had a height advantage. Kyungsoo could know in a heartbeat that Jongin was pouting; without even looking. He was even more convinced that he was raising a child.

Kyungsoo didn’t answer, but he walked away. Jongin let his hand go.

His bookshelf was almost full, he noted. Jongin thought it would be a ridiculous joke to colour-code the books. He was doing it as a protest because Kyungsoo left him for a five days’ vacation; of course with the help of Park Chanyeol.

Little did they know that Kyungsoo loved it. He had had no idea that Jongin was sulking, he thought the brand-new look of the shelf was a return gift. He had hugged Jongin tightly, and said thank you, leaving Jongin in an utter bafflement of how things had played out. After that hug, apparently, Jongin decided that he wasn’t mad anymore and explained his ill-intent plan.

Kyungsoo found out that he was very fond of Jongin that day, and he kept the shelf that way.

“Why are you smiling?” Jongin’s brows were furrowed.

“Come on, Kim Jongin, don’t sulk at me.” Kyungsoo said as he sat back on the sofa.

“Why can’t I? We didn’t even go trick-or-treating and you don’t want to kiss me.” Jongin argued, and being the exact person he was—contradicting his words—leaned his head to Kyungsoo’s shoulder like it was acceptable to sulk and still want to get head pats.

Kyungsoo rested his left hand on Jongin’s neck. “I didn’t—I already said if you want to go, you can go with Chanyeol. It’s not like I didn’t let you go, you bear-headed human being.” He pointed out, his fingers sliding through Jongin’s hair, his ear, his neck, in that order.

Jongin ran his fingers in Kyungsoo’s thigh, circular motions just as usual. “But I want to go with you,”

“But I don’t want to go trick-or-treating.”

“That’s why we didn’t go,” Jongin said. “That, and to leave Chanyeol alone and miserable.” He added an afterthought.

Kyungsoo chuckled. At least they had that in common. “He needs to find a life, that’s what.”

Jongin’s fingers stopped abruptly, and they were on Kyungsoo’s jawline in seconds. He turned Kyungsoo’s face meeting his own. “Can you still count how many times I’ve said I love your laugh?” Jongin asked with a sincere look that stripped Kyungsoo internally. Kyungsoo swallowed, hard.

“Nobody in their right mind could count,” he answered, unfinished, voice breaking at the end of his sentence.

Occasionally, Kyungsoo thought he hated Jongin for the things he was feeling. Like this one, he felt naked by the honesty, or when Jongin unintentionally gave him the bloody persistent butterflies in his stomach.

Jongin was pleased with the answer. He didn’t let go, instead, he snorted softly, not breaking the eye contact. His nose wrinkled every time he smiled. “I’m sure somebody keeps count. I love your laugh.”

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo breathed carefully.

“In fact, I love the shape of your lips. I love how you frowned in disgust every single time I tried to cook, but you ate them anyway. I love how you contradict yourself; I love how you talk in your sleep.” Jongin said, throwing in things he didn’t probably mean; it was the easiest thing for him in the world.

“I love how swift you move with knives, because you’re a gifted cook unlike me, and I love how you made me admit that I’m the loud one in bed.” He smirked.

Kyungsoo concentrated on his rapidly increasing heartbeats, instead of Jongin’s overwhelming eyes. He closed his eyes. “How,” he started, but he was not sure how to phrase it. He didn’t want to hurt Jongin.

“I love… you. I wish it’s that simple. There are so many things I adore about you,” Jongin continued. He ignored Kyungsoo’s partial words, whispering: “Will you open your eyes?”

How could Kyungsoo possibly say no, to that?

“I know, it’s hard to believe—I’ve decided to tell you that everyday so it’ll eventually stick in your mind.” Jongin murmured, tender.

Kyungsoo wasn’t sure whether it was him, or Jongin, with the enormous heat. He just felt too warm all of a sudden.

“I don’t know any better way than that,” Kyungsoo said breathlessly. He knew he had hurt Jongin because he didn’t believe it the first time he heard, not even now—but he was more than willing to try.

He knew Jongin had to know that, too, and he was doing the best he can.

Jongin had smile lines, because he smiled so much; he was warm to everyone. More than once, it was all Kyungsoo could see, because it was mesmerising, how Jongin could face the world like that.

Unlike Jongin, Kyungsoo had no intention to smile too often, a plan hijacked by the man in front of him since the day he showed up in Kyungsoo’s life. He had none of that, the smile line; he barely had any expressions he showed to the world back then.

That was why, it didn’t show when someone hurt him. Just as it was painstakingly obvious in Jongin’s when someone hurt him. God, Kyungsoo didn’t want to see that gloomy expression ever again.

“It’s hard to believe, I know, because sometimes you’re full of shit but never, I repeat never, I stopped loving you. Weird and spooky, isn’t it,” Jongin joked, earning himself a jab. He continued: “But that’s my point—people are full of shit, too, including me. That won’t change the fact that I love you.”

Kyungsoo nodded.

He understood, by heart, he knew, he could never say it back. He once loathed himself for it, he thought he was broken, until Jongin’s tears showed that he was not. He convinced himself that he was not broken, because when he casually said that one day to him, Jongin broke down in tears. Kyungsoo didn’t want that to ever happen again.

Until now, how it clicked inside his brain.

It was a lot to process, the overwhelming feelings, the butterflies, the scattered thoughts. The pang of emptiness when Jongin went out with his friends, the urge to kiss Jongin’s eyes when he was asleep. It was surging out of him, overflowing.

“I understand that you can’t—

“Fuck, I love you,” Kyungsoo blurted out. It was a belated realisation and he never felt so stupid, but he sensed that an enormous burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He swore some more, because he couldn’t believe himself, how could he not understand his _own_ feelings sooner. “I really, really, love you, Jongin.”

The world went still after that.

Kyungsoo held Jongin’s hand that rested in his jawline. “I’m sorry that took so long.”

Jongin was looking at him, Kyungsoo had no idea what that look meant because out of all time Jongin chose this time to be enigmatic and mysterious suddenly. Kyungsoo blinked a few times rapidly.

“Will you say it again,” Jongin whispered, and it didn’t sound like a request. It was not a demand either; but Kyungsoo had no idea how to categorise it. Jongin seemed almost desperate, for what, he didn’t know.

Kyungsoo would though, without Jongin asking. “I,” he tried, but it didn’t sound right. So he tried again. “I’ve realised that I… I see you the way I never see anyone like that before. It took me a while, but this is my first time and I wasn’t—I wasn’t sure what to do with myself.” He rephrased, hoping that it would convey what he was actually feeling.

Jongin was now dropping his gaze low.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo called. He squeezed his hand gently, and Jongin’s other hand wiped his own face.

Kyungsoo reached out to tilt Jongin’s face upwards, mimicking how Jongin was doing it to him—he wasn’t rough at all, and it was just right. Only Jongin could do that, because Kyungsoo was so damn sloppy at it.

Jongin was brimming with tears. Kyungsoo caressed the outer corner of his eyes gently, and smiled. Lord, he loved this man. “I wish you could feel how I feel, Jongin. I tried rephrasing it in my head; nothing could come close to how I was actually feeling.”

Jongin looked sad, but he looked glad too. Kyungsoo couldn’t really take a guess. Instead he shifted closer to him, meeting their foreheads. Both of his hands were now at the side of Jongin’s head, thumbs brushing slowly on his temples.

Jongin’s breaths were harsh and there wasn’t a sob, but the tears were constantly flowing from his eyes. He looked beautiful even now, Kyungsoo didn’t know what to do with himself. He voiced it out. “Honestly, you look beautiful. Tell me if I’m unhinged,” he said, and Jongin laughed between his breath.

“This isn’t fair.” Jongin said after a while. They were still like that, because Kyungsoo didn’t feel like moving at all. Jongin too, he supposed. He wanted to capture his feelings, or everything at that moment, really, and put them inside a jar. If that was possible, he would.

“What?” Kyungsoo asked.

“When I said that to you, you didn’t cry.” Jongin shook his head. “Wait, ignore that.”

“I love you, Jongin, I can’t stop saying it suddenly. I love you, I love you, god, it feels weird but in a pleasant way.” Kyungsoo sighed in defeat, because he realised that loving this bear-headed man meant that he also would die for that childlike attitude he possessed.

“That,” Jongin cupped his face back, and it felt ridiculous, they probably looked ridiculous, but no one was around to see. Kyungsoo smiled as Jongin kissed the corner of his mouth. “I know how that feels, to love you like it’s suffocating to not see you for a day. Welcome to my world,”

Kyungsoo gave up, because Jongin was persistent, and he wouldn’t win. He pulled Jongin closer and kissed him, properly this time.

Jongin shivered as Kyungsoo held him in place, mouth working his way to Jongin’s lower lips just the way Jongin liked it. It was like he couldn’t get enough, he would literally drown himself in Jongin. His lips felt soft and swollen, and a little salty because the big baby was crying so much.

Kyungsoo loved him.

That was it, Kyungsoo nodded, as Jongin pushed him back to get the air he needed, and kissed Kyungsoo again. _I love him._

* * *

“You didn’t tell me why we didn’t have a blue moon last year,” Kyungsoo said to Jongin’s hair.

“Oh, that,” Jongin chuckled, his voice was muffled by Kyungsoo’s chest. Jongin freed himself just enough to stare at Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo couldn’t resist the urge to brush his fringe aside.

Their window was open, and it was right before dawn; the blue moon was still there. Their bed didn’t even feel cold with the autumn breeze.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo called in annoyance, because he didn’t like not knowing something.

“All right, all right.” Jongin kissed the tip of his nose and chuckled again, as if it was entertaining. Kyungsoo wanted to hit his neck. “The blue moon appeared irregularly,” he explained. “Also it’s because we had two blue moons in 2018. Someone got greedy,”

“What?” Kyungsoo said, every time Jongin didn’t make sense.

“Scientists said the blue moon appeared irregularly. But I think in 2018 someone wanted desperately to see the blue moon again; the gods granted their wish, as a result they didn’t give us any blue moon in 2019.” Jongin said with his utmost serious face.

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, scolding himself internally. “Just this once, I believe you.” He said, and he couldn’t believe himself.

Jongin laughed in delight. “Some people believe that if someone confessed their love on a blue moon it’ll last forever.” He whispered, and snuggled back to Kyungsoo.

“You made that up,” Kyungsoo yawned. “But I love you, anyway.”

“I didn’t.” Jongin murmured sleepily, “And I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I wanted to write angst; but lord forgive me I feel bad for both of them as I continued writing this. I also didn't ship them in real life, but they're just the perfect fit for this prompt.


End file.
